The Big Reveal

For those of you who know me, you know I do not do well with surprises. I am notorious in my  family for trying to peek into gift bags at Christmastime. Everyone knows to put my gifts in boxes, all sealed and wrapped up tight, otherwise, I will sneak in and peek!

After I found out I was pregnant, my sister-in-law approached me with the idea of throwing a gender reveal party for my husband and I. Although it sounded like fun, (and I did agree to it) I wasn't so sure about the catch: I couldn't know the sex of my baby until it was revealed at the party.

You see, I like to know what is coming at all times. I am the person who meticulously plans my life out, leaving no detail to chance.
I can't tell you how many times I have prayed the prayer "God, reveal what you have for me". 
I just want to know. No surprises, God, just tell me what is up.

Fortunately, and also rather unfortunately sometimes, that is not the way God works.
At the beginning of this year, I really felt God telling me that this will be "the year of faith for me", and boy, was it. In fact, it still is. I have always had an issue with faith; with trusting my fate to God. I would do really well for awhile, but when things started looking rocky, I quickly take that control back over my life, saying, "that's not really where I planned to go, God, but thanks anyway".

Faith is being sure of what we hope for, and certain of what we do not see. (Hebrews 11:1)

But God......I just want a little peek! Come on, just one won't hurt. You say things will be ok, but I want to KNOW they will. I need to, you know how I am! I have to know.....and could you hurry up please? I have things to do.

Well, thank God I do not have as much control as I think I should, or I would miss out on something great.

I had a specific plan for my life this year. I was going to get pregnant, do my internship, graduate in December, and get a job...all before January 1st.  Well...that plan didn't happen. It took us a little longer to get pregnant that what I originally anticipated, and after a very difficult four months, my graduation has been pushed back to May 2014.  I would be lying to you if I told you I wasn't disappointed, and even devastated at times.

Why. God, Why? It was all planned out so perfectly. What was so wrong with my plan?

The answer: my plan wasn't His. You see, God had a plan all along for me. He took the time to carefully orchestrate it and see that it was carried out, and if I would have had things the way I planned, I would miss out on something wonderful....something far better that I could ever imagine...I would miss THE BIG REVEAL. Just like at the gender reveal party, the moment I got to tear into that box and get my first glimpse of pink balloons was far sweeter than I could have ever devised. It was beautiful and perfect. That moment was far better than anything I could have anticipated, and it is the same with God's purposes. I can't always understand why the path I am traveling takes unexpected twists and turns, but I can KNOW without a doubt at all, that God is in it and through it. I can know that even though I cannot see the end of the road or the final outcome of a situation, that His big reveal is immeasurably more than I could ever ask for or imagine.

So today, instead of mourning my lost plan, I will rejoice in His. I will hold on to the hope I profess, because I am sure that big reveal is coming for me. I will be joyful for others whose big reveals are coming to pass now, and I will stay vigilant in prayer for those whose big reveals are yet to come like mine.

My best advice to anyone going through something tough: hold onto hope. Not everything always makes sense, and sometimes life hurts, but we serve a God who makes things out of nothing; who makes all things work together for our good. Just wait, your big reveal is coming, as is mine, and what a glorious day that will be!