Walk Like an Ephesian

Shamefully, I must admit I have done it again. I've ran back to that filthy old ratty beanbag chair that is my old self. No wonder I feel so miserable and crabby lately. How do I always get back here? I have snuggled deep down into my selfishness, anger, insecurity, and cynicism. I've picked up the dirty blanket of old habits and covered myself up. I am once again, easily frustrated, doubtful, and swearing like a sailor. Seriously, how did I get back here? I am supposed to be a child of light, so why am I now suddenly singing "Hello darkness, my old friend"? I get so disgusted with myself when this happens. I fall off the wagon. Some how living according to the will of God has become to scary and I retreat like a wounded animal, full of mistrust. The problem is that it all starts with a tiny little concession. Then another. Then another. Finally, I am spiraling downward at an alarming pace, rendering me ineffective for God and totally miserable as a human being. So how do I put an end to this spiritual 'Dr. Jekyll, Mrs. Hyde charade? I'm going to start living out Ephesians 4-5. There is so much wisdom on living a godly life in those two chapters. This morning, I broke down the two chapters into "life lessons for walking like an Ephesian should". Here is some of what I got:
1.Live a life worthy of your calling
2. Be humble, gentle, and patient, regarding one another with love.
3.Put off your old self and adopt a new self and a new godly attitude (BIG for me)
4.Take your place among the body of Christ
5.Get rid of all anger and bitterness, greed, obscenity, and brawling (AGAIN ME)
6.Build others up, don't tear them down, and don't talk about people
7.Don't let Satan get a grip
8.Replace obscenities and dirty jokes with words of praise and thanksgiving
9. Live wisely, making the most out of every opportunity
10. Discover God's will and stick to it
11. Let your heart always sing and be joyful with praises to God: worship with your life
12. Do not steal, but work hard so you can give to others in need

These are hard things to do, but with God's grace, I can slowly start up the mountain again and continue. Forward motion is such a hard thing to maintain on my own. As soon as I start climbing, I listen to that voice that says, "It is too risky to keep going" instead of clinging harder to my Lifeline, the Lover of my Soul, who saw me and knew me before my birth, and who's mercy gives me each breath I take.
So here I go again, thankful that God is one of second chances (and 4ths and 5ths), taking it day by day. It won't be easy, but nothing worth anything in life ever is.
Today, I will trust in you, Jesus. Today, I will walk like an Ephesian. I won't tear anyone down, but lift them up instead. I won't lash out in anger, but react in love. I will keep my tongue and heart in check, and do my best to live my life worthy of what you have for me to do. Please give me the grace and strength to follow you, even when I become afraid.

"Jesus, purify me in your fire.
Burn me up, til I can see.
Jesus, purify me in your fire.
Burn me up, til I believe."
-David Crowder Band